Dating Older Men Introduction

For some women, the idea of dating older is completely acceptable, while for others they would never entertain the idea. You may be the type of person who is open to many possibilities and because of that carefree, nonchalant attitude, it may work for or against you depending on the kind of older person you choose to date.

For the purposes of this article we are referring to men in their late 40s who are dating a girl who is at least 10 to 15 years younger than them. Similarly, some older men would never dream of dating a younger girl, while many love idea of being wild and free. This article explores the advantages and disadvantages of dating older men.

Reasons why older men date young girls

For some men, they are content with their life and enjoy the simple pleasures of watching TV, going shopping, and perhaps travelling once or twice a year. This does not sound very exciting, does it? There are those middle-aged men who seek out a younger person to date because they can’t seem to find someone their own age who can keep up with their pace.

They may be the kind of mature guys who enjoy going to concerts, taking spontaneous trips, and participating in a unique and/or fun hobby that most people their own age may find dangerous, strange or meaningless.

Reasons why young girls enjoy dating older men

There are many issues that a girl needs to look out for when considering dating an older man. These are no different than that normal things to watch out for: unresolved past issues with an ex, challenges with relatives, money problems, etc. However, for the girl who thinks that age has no bearing on the relationship, he or she might be a bit naive.

Two people born in different decades have different views about life, develop at different paces, and may even have different needs for sleeping, eating, and drinking. If you are a younger girl and are considering dating an older guy exclusively, you will want to proceed with caution.

Dating a man who is older than you are certainly very different from dating a younger man or one who is of your age. Older men are more mature and their way of approaching romance is really different. When dating an older man though, you stand to benefit from this.

Advantages of dating older men

With the availability of online dating, it makes it easy to find someone who is not within your age bracket. You can also easily find the couples with the age difference of 10 to 15 years. People are more open to relationships and have also increased their options considerably.

This is not just a trend but it has been seen that the men or the women who date people younger in age than them are very satisfied with their relationships. Let’s look at some of the benefits of dating older men.

Financial security

When you think of a young woman dating an older man, the thought that immediately comes to mind is the image of a sugar daddy on the hunt. This may rather be old fashioned since changes in the society have made women more independent.

Women are more emotionally driven, but still look for stability in a relationship. However, some women pursue older men since they know they usually have money, and can enjoy a more lavish lifestyle.

Maturity

It is understood that women always mature faster than men. This is a compelling reason for any woman to opt for an older man. It’s not that younger men are unable to mature but most women want someone who is already there.

Generally, older men do not make idle conversation. Since some women get bored discussing trivial issues that are often discussed by younger men, they prefer having intelligent and sensible conversations with older men.

Women feel protected

Women feel very secure when they are with a person who is older than they are, as they have the baby instinct that makes them want to be protected and cared for. This is something they will not get from a dating a man their own age.

Psychological needs

Women believe that since older guys have already had relationships when they were young, then they are less prone to cheat on them. They are of the age where they are only thinking of settling down with only one woman. Arguments are also less likely due to the man’s maturity.

Many women want to feel secure and safe when it comes to dating. If a woman feels secure and protected, then sex is more likely to come next since a woman won’t have sex with someone she does not feel safe with.

Women who seek adventure are more drawn to older men. Scuba diving, Skydiving, sailing, exotic travel, balloon rides, safari, and other luxurious activities are certainly available to younger women dating older men.

Support

An older man will also have an established career, and us usually quite successful. With their career secure, they will have more time to devote to their relationship.

Specialty

Since they have already been at the point where they realized the importance of having someone in their life, they will give their 100 % to the relationship. This happens to be a huge change from the relationship where a guy is easily distracted by other women and can decide to end the relationship. With an older man, you can expect to be treated special. They will be more confident and more at ease socially and professionally and this will have a positive impact on your relationship.

Communication

One problem that always arises in a relationship is that one or the other person is not open enough. Communication is a very important factor in every relationship. A partner older than you will be more commutative since he does not have any kind of confusion about the relation and will also help you to clear your doubts about anything.

Clarity

They will be very decisive and will clearly know what they want from life and what they expect from the relationship. This sense of clarity provides an additional level of reassurance for the woman.

Disadvantages of dating older men

Women are drawn to the idea of dating older men due to the maturity factor. Women mature faster then men, so it’s not surprising that they are drawn to older men. There are several disadvantages to dating an older man that need to be kept in mind if you are a woman looking to pursue this direction.

Risk of Diseases

For some, the risk of getting an STD is a concern with an older man since he has probably been with many other women. However, this should not be a limiting factor. With the proper precautions, such as condoms, this risk can be minimized.

Criticism

You could be subject to the judgment of your friends and family who do not approve of your relationship. They many not approve of your choice, and may attempt to convince you to end the relationship. It is, however, your life after all and you should be able to make your own choices. Do not let the stigma of society ruin a potentially amazing relationship.

Children

An older man may have children from a previous relationship, which could become problematic for you. This could be further complicated if he has children that are close to your age. There may be a bit of resentment at first, but adopting an open an honest line of communication with the children should resolve most problems.

Complicated lifestyle

The best thing you can learn about dating older men is how to compromise. If you can make some allowances, this will make for a stronger and healthier relationship. You may have many things in common, but you will need to some adjustments in your behavior. By having an open mind, you will better able to understand his moods and temperament.

Low Energy

An older man does not have the same energy levels as he did when he was younger, so he may feel drained after a long hectic day. Hey may not be as perky and lively as you would like him to be in the evenings, when you are spending time together. Take this into consideration when planning evening activities, and allow for options that are more relaxed and laid back.

Generational incompatibility

We often overlook the power of having similar upbringings in successful relationships. When a man dates a woman, who is much younger than he is, the relationship can easily have a great deal of generational incompatibility. Sometimes there’s nothing better for a relationship than sitting around talking about the good old days and what you were doing when you were in high school, college or even a grade school child.

When there is a huge generational gap between a man and his girlfriend the historical incompatibility can quite simply lead to not having a lot to talk about. Not having anything in common can end up putting a great deal of stress on your relationship.

Trust

Most older men are thrilled when they first start off a relationship with a younger woman. Unless the man has a high level of confidence and resolve, trust can become an issue. He will start questioning if she is interested in him for who he is, or is only interested in his money.

If you are open and honest, you will be able to resolve these issues and gain his trust.

Jealousy

You may face competition from other girls who are also interested in this guy, but discover that he is dating you instead. Don’t be surprised if these other suitors become extremely jealous, and attempt to sabotage your relationship. You can also experience jealousy from younger men who are interested in you, but discover you are dating a much older man. It is best to simply ignore these individuals, and focus on your relationship instead.

Social stigma

Just because our media and celebrities portray older guys dating younger women as the cool and hip thing to do does not mean that mainstream America thinks it is very cool. If you are a career man you can even end up having some difficulties with your job if your coworkers or their spouses take offense to the age difference in your relationship. Sometimes older men tend to be ostracized from their networks of friends and colleagues when dating a much younger woman.

Relationship volatility

For all of the reasons listed above and many more when there is a great deal of an age difference in relationships they tend to be far more volatile than ones where people are closer to the same age. Therefore, if you are looking for an extremely long term relationship and one that does not have a potential expiration date you may want to look at dating somebody a little closer to your own age.

Dating Older Men Summary

Despite the old cliche, “Age ain’t nothing but a number…” the reality is that dating older men can be an issue for someone in this kind of dating relationship especially when one or both of you suddenly realize life’s harsh realities like: a health condition, financial issues, death of loved ones, the graduation of a child and the birth of a newborn, adult sons and daughters in dilemmas, and so on. These impactful events in one’s life can make or break a relationship–no matter the age, but for the girl dating older men, she must prepare herself for the relationship ending especially if there is an extreme life changing event.

Dating older men is not for everyone, and there are several advantages and disadvantages as outlined in this article. But next time you are swiping on Tinder, you may want to consider changing your preferences and expanding your criteria. You may be missing out on an amazing opportunity if you don’t.

 

References

  1. 11 Reasons Why Dating An Older Man Is Awesome
  2. The Disadvantages of Dating Men Who Are Older
  3. The pitfalls of DATING an OLDER MAN
  4. Better With Age: 10 Pros And Cons Of Dating An Older Man